Mailbag 1



This is the very first Mailbag, which has grown to become the most popular feature on the site, mainly because it's often one of the first cartoons people watch. Its SWF file is http://fredthemonkey.com/Mailbag%201%208_1_2003.swf, meaning it was likely released on August 1, 2003. However, this is unconfirmed.

There are three types of jack asses in this world: Fred, Sceb, and JKR.

Transcript
[Sceb is sitting at his desk with his chair turned around, facing the camera.]

SCEB: Hello, everybody, and welcome to the mailbag. I'm Sceb and I'll be answering your questions as you send them to me. So... Email me.

[Camera zooms in.]

SCEB:Do it now.

[Camera returns to starting position.]

SCEB: Okaaay, let's see what we've got.

''[Sceb turns around in his chair to face the computer. Camera zooms in on screen. He hums to himself as he lazily lets the mouse wander, then he sighs. ]''

COMPUTER: [Ding!!] You've got incoherent messages!

SCEB: Ahh, there we go. Whaddo we got here?

[Sceb clicks, the camera reverts to behind the desk, looking at Sceb as he reads the screen.]

SCEB: [Reading aloud] XXX. We got girls. Barely legal. Only 34.95 a month. Check out our live... video... ohhhhkaaaaay... I think someone sent this e-mail to the wrong address. I'll just delete this...

''[Sceb clicks the mouse but the camera does not zoom into the computer. A crinkling noise is heard indicating the email has been deleted, and the computer dings again.]''

COMPUTER: [Ding!!] You've got incoherent messages!

SCEB: Oh, ok. I got another e-mail.

[Sceb clicks and the camera zooms in on the screen]

SCEB: [reading aloud]

''[Camera zooms back out to Sceb at his desk. His eyes slowly invert to an angry position. He turns to the camera.]''

SCEB: If you'll excuse me, I'll have to go beat someone up.

[Sceb gets up and exits angrily, then pokes his head back in to the frame.]

SCEB: E-mail me some good ones next time.

[The two windows appear inviting the viewer to email Sceb or return to the main page.]

Easter Eggs

 * If you wait a brief moment, a short audio scene occurs.

FRED: [offscreen] Hey, what's up?

[A thumping noise is heard]

FRED: Owww!

Beyond The Mailbag Email
Jimmy Joe Writes:

yoyoyo homie my name is jimmy joe and i like totaly dont get y u dont get u'r new ds game already the one u be playing sucks. PS. HIT FRED WITH A FOAM BAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur bigest fan jimmy joe Sceb Says:

Hey Jimmy Joe (why do you have two first names?), I generally buy a new DS game when I find a sucker willing to give me some money. Most of the time they have to be a few chicken nuggets short of a kid’s meal and not know I’m totally never going to pay them back. We’re talking extremely stupid here, like Fred or a piece of petrified wood. I only ask those people who I think are dumb enough to fall for it. -Sceb

PS. Can you loan me 20 bucks? I’ll pay you back, seriously.

Trivia

 * The "Porn Site" joke is the most sexually explicit joke on the site.